


Wild Goose Chase?

by needles



Series: Bokuaka Detective drabbles [17]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, guest appearance by a particularly agressive anser anser domesticus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needles/pseuds/needles
Summary: There are times when a man's got to do what a man's got to do...
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: Bokuaka Detective drabbles [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116251
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Wild Goose Chase?

They bumped their way up the rutted farm track in the SUV, another day another body, and by all accounts this one had been lying about for a while. Bokuto just hoped the animals hadn’t eaten it. Even the thought was enough to put him off his lunch. At least it wasn’t a pig farm; pigs would eat anything even bodies. The last one like that had put him off bacon for a week. Keiji, of course, had just laughed and called him squeamish. This one was a small fruit farm with a little livestock for grazing the orchards so he’d been told. The remains were thought to be those of the farmer himself.

He pulled up in front of a slightly shabby farmhouse that sat surrounded by apple orchards in full bloom. If not for the reason for their visit it would have been beautiful. The scent of the blossom drifted in the air caressing their nostrils as they climbed out. The recovery van was parked alongside and they followed a small path around the house until they saw a cluster of techs waiting by the gates of the orchard.

“Why haven’t they got everything set up?” Keiji frowned. He didn’t want them messing with the remains but normally they would have taped off the area and set up cameras and lights if necessary, and got out the recovery supplies and tools. All of it sat in a heap beside them.

“Is there a problem here guys, why aren’t you set up?” Bokuto asked.

The head tech nodded towards the orchard, “Can’t get near the remains Bokuto, Jimmy here has already been attacked twice.” A young tech beside him had dressings on his fingers and one on his cheek.

Bokuto looked over the gate; a sizeable flock of around 30 large white birds was milling about grazing beneath the trees.“Geese?”

“Killer geese,” Jimmy muttered sourly, glaring at them.

Keiji looked at him, he was six foot two and 190 lbs, “And you couldn’t handle them?” he snorted.

Jimmy turned a respectable shade of beetroot. “Most of them are fine it’s that big one it’s out for blood.”

“That is ridiculous, Geese are entirely herbivorous. It’s just the alpha male defending his flock. All you have to do is treat him with respect and show you mean no harm to them,” Keiji said derisively.

“That’s as maybe but I ain’t going back in there until he’s locked up, he’s vicious,” Jimmy muttered sullenly.

Keiji sighed, “Very well.” He turned to his partner, “Bokuto san, go and fetch him out.”

Bokuto looked at him aghast and dragged him to one side, then he hissed in his ear, “Are you crazy you know how I feel about birds Akaashi.”He shuddered remembering the flock of sharp beaked chickens that had set upon him on one of their first cases.

“They are geese, not chickens, Bokuto san. Besides you’re an alpha male, you should be able to handle another one. Do you want the techs to think you can’t?”

“Low blow Akaashi, low blow.” He looked at the birds, they were all big but one, larger than the rest, was patrolling the space between the gate and the flock keeping a watchful eye on the interlopers to his orchard. “That thing is huge, he must weigh thirty pounds and you want me to catch him?”

“Well I’ll do it if you wish Bokuto san, but I thought it might offend your frangible male pride in front of the techs,” Keiji smiled innocently. “I’m sure you can do better than Jimmy’s feckless attempts.”

Bokuto narrowed his eyes at him, “You’re a lot like your con man of a father sometimes Akaashi, you know that?” He tugged off his jacket and tie and handed them over, then pulled his gun from his shoulder holster and looked at it. “I suppose I can’t just...?”

“Certainly not Bokuto san, it’s done nothing to deserve that!” Keiji protested indignantly.

“I’m not sure Jimmy would agree with you Akaashi,” he grinned, handing it to him. “Cover me partner, I’m going in.”

Keiji rolled his eyes at him as he climbed over the gate and stepped towards the geese.

“Just show him who the alpha male really is Bokuto san,” he called after him.

Bokuto walked slowly towards the large bird and then stopped. It looked at him with bright blue eyes then lowered its neck and walked towards him hissing menacingly. Bokuto looked at the beak that had already inflicted several nasty nips to Jimmy’s fingers. He stepped closer. The goose hissed louder and opened its wings in a clear display of aggression. Then it charged him, honking and hissing loudly. Bokuto side-stepped swiftly and grabbed for its outstretched neck but the bird was too quick and he landed face down on the grass. Pushing himself up with a muttered curse and hearing the faint sniggers coming from the techs he brushed himself down and looked for his quarry. The bird had circled round and once again was between him and the flock.

He fixed it with a glare, “Ok buddy I’m through playing nice.” He headed towards the bird rolling up his shirt sleeves as he went.

Something told the goose that it wasn’t about protecting his flock anymore, this was personal and he honked wildly at Bokuto as he got closer. Just as Bokuto was almost within an arm’s length of him he flapped madly and ran away across the grass, weaving from side to side in a flurry of white feathers in an attempt to evade capture. Bokuto followed, jinking between the trees as the bird fled across the orchard. He was closing on his quarry when he realised the bird was headed for a large open pond.  
“Oh no you don’t buddy!” he cried and made one last full length dive to grab the bird before it reached the safety of the water.

His arms closed around the soft, warm body of the gander about two seconds before they both landed in the muddy shallows at the edge of the pond. After a few moments he shook his head and struggled to his knees the bird still firmly held in his arms. He spat out a mouthful of pond water and blinked. Neither the bird nor his shirt remained white. Both were a sludgy brown from the muddy silt, his pants were ruined too. He sighed, another suit wrecked, one day he was going to send Akaashi the bill. He slithered to his feet in the mud and shifted the now more docile bird under one arm. It stretched its neck and pecked at his hair, pulling out a strand of pondweed which it promptly ate. 

“Listen pal, no pecking the hair capisce? Otherwise I charge you with Assaulting a Police Officer,” he warned the goose as he squelched his way back through the trees.

The goose just looked at him with an unblinking blue stare, then plucked another piece of weed from his collar.

As they watched Bokuto disappear between the trees Keiji opened the gate and turned to the techs, “Come on let’s get set up.”

“But the goose?” Jimmy protested.

“Bokuto san will catch it, he always gets his man,” he said confidently, striding across the grass with his kit. The techs looked at each other and then followed. Getting on the wrong side of Akaashi sensei was infinitely scarier than a homicidal goose. 

They had just finished taping off the area below a tree where the remains lay when Bokuto reappeared, soaked and muddy.

“The first one of you to laugh and I’ll set my pal here on you,” he warned as he saw their faces. As if to emphasise his point the goose let out a loud hiss directed at Jimmy, who flinched.

“Take that thing away from me,” he whined.

Keiji gave Jimmy a pitying look and turned to Bokuto. “Why don’t you shut him in the tool shed over there Bokuto san, he should be fine until we’re finished. Then you can get cleaned up, I believe the house is unlocked and there’s soap and water inside.”

Bokuto headed towards the tool shed beside the house and opened the door. He thrust the goose inside and shut it quickly to a chorus of angry honks. “Yeah I know you’d like to go peck Jimmy again and believe me I’d like to let you, but you’ll have to save it till Akaashi has finished his work ok,” he muttered through the door.

He made his way back to the SUV and fished out a change of clothing from his kit bag in the back, then slipped into the house to clean up and change, he smelt like pond scum.

Half an hour later he headed back to the scene having changed into clean jeans and t-shirt and dry sneakers just as the techs were zipping up the body bag.

“Don’t tell me I missed all the fun Akaashi?” he grinned, as Keiji handed him back his gun.

“I would hardly describe decomposed remains as fun Bokuto san.”

Bokuto thought better of pointing out that was patently false in Keiji’s case. “So what did you find?”

“The age and physical characteristics of the skeletal remains match the description of the missing farmer so it is probable that it is him, however I shall need to confirm it from dental records.”

“Cause of death?” he asked, cautiously knowing how reluctant Keiji was to speculate.

“It appears his neck was broken in a fall. Though there appear to be some unusual bite marks on the lower legs,” he said, picking up his kit.

Bokuto followed him back across the orchard, “He fell out of the tree?”

“I prefer to wait for more analysis but that would be a possible scenario. The question remains however why would he climb the tree in the first place, he was seventy three?” Keiji mused.

“Bites on the legs? What kind of teeth, rodent, dog?”

“No teeth, sort of curved. But I’m sure Washio and Konoha can figure it out.”

“Hm, could they be peck marks not bites?”

“They could.” His eyes followed Bokuto’s to the tool shed, “He couldn’t have surely?”

“Who knows Akaashi? There is almost nothing an alpha male won’t do to protect his family.”

Keiji nodded, “That’s true. I suppose we’d better let him get back to them. Go and fetch him, I think he’ll trust you now Bokuto san, you bettered him.”

Bokuto returned to the shed and opened the door. The goose stood there looking at him. “Time to go pal,” Bokuto said, and picked him up. He didn’t struggle this time, as Keiji had supposed Bokuto now outranked him. He carried the goose back to the orchard and lowered him over the fence. “Off you go, better get back to work. It’s a full time job isn’t it, protection,” he added in a whisper as he set the bird down.

“He can’t comprehend human speech Bokuto san,” Keiji grinned.

“Don’t you believe it Akaashi, he and I understand each other pretty well,” Bokuto smiled.

As if in response the goose honked and strutted away.


End file.
